Manfriend and I have gone our separate ways.  Many reasons, but post break-up, we are actually much better off, which a little weird, non?

I got drafted into ex-manfriend’s band, though, which is superultraexciting news.  Now I just have to become a twig-lette and stuff my chest and we’ll be winners.  I’m laughing right now, but that’s kind of the only image selling in the US (in terms of pop-experimental female musicians).  Which makes no sense since dudes can be fatties and still get cred.

(Insert hatin’ here.)

Anyway: commission pictures will be posted later this week.  I’ve got a plushie I’ve been working on and three graphic design projects that have been eating my time and CPU.  New computer falls third on the “Fancy Things To Invest In” list right now, but it’s on the list.  I’m coming for you, fancy Gatway, with your speedy processor cores, your shiny graphics card and your terabyte of hard drive space (who the heck even needs that?!).  VICTORY SHALL BE MINE.

We get some strange magazines at the office every few months for no apparent reason, and this month was Popular Science.  Most everyone has heard of the magazine Popular Mechanics, but for whatever reason, I have been deprived of the magic that is Popular Science.  I am now mildly obsessed.  The environmental magazine is so full of ridiculousness that I am now hooked (just go to Barnes & Noble to read, in order to experience WHOA factor involved).  I also lucked in to finding out a dear friend of mine has been subscribing for years and has been kind enough to give me two months back issues.  This is officially the joy of my day.

Oh, added bonus, I’ve been promoted into a technical support position at my job.  As a gift to myself, I am eyeballing a B&N Nook.  While I’m a pretty devoted traditional book reader, I have to at some point acknowledge that I both have too many and that it’s environmentally wasteful.  Going to play with a Nook, a Kindle and an iPad before I finalize that decision, though, since I’m not 100% certain.  We shall see.

I need to get my digital camera working again; I have an amazing blueberry-hyrbid bed coming along!  I know, blueberry bushes in Florida!  Who knew?

Using my secret Garden Nerd abilities, I set up the bushes along the south wall of my parents’ house to insulate the rooms — helpful, since the curry tree is taking its sweet time growing to a shade-giving height.  It has taken a ridiculous amount of time to get the fertilizer mixture just right (1 cup Starbucks coffee grounds to 1 tsp. Organic Dynamite to 2 gallons of water, given twice a week) and they’re finally doing that thing plants are supposed to do: grow.

So, yes, my blueberry bushes are now 2.5ft tall out of their final height of 4-5ft, but I’m proud that they are not bundles of tinder in a sandbox.  Because that’s how impulse gardening in FL’s Zone 10 usually turns out.

Oh, and I am apparently going to be in-studio next week.  GLORIOUS.

Dear Tumblr friends:

Please do not have Manfriends in bands.  It is not a pleasant experience for anyone and, that said, please follow the following rules:

1. Do not commiserate.

Oh, sure, they might whine and moan, but if you commiserate you are irrational.  Don’t you dare feel their pain, my friend.  You’re just crazy if you do that!

2. Do not speak ill of other band members.

I haven’t actually felt the need to do this unless violating Rule No. 1 anyhow, but it’s a general rule that you keep your opinion on their untalented, rude or rather unhygienic bandmates to yourself.  After all, you are not the one playing with, listening to, or touring with the man who does not practice or shower for four weeks.

3. Do not nag them at shows.

Your manfriend is going to talk to girls after shows.  It might appear like flirting if you’re particularly jealous, it might just be talking, but the reality of it is, this is what they do to promote themselves.  If you are of the jealous sort who seriously cannot handle your significant other speaking to anyone else with a vagoo, then this is not the person for you.  You will be eternally frustrated and start to become That Girl.  No one wants to be That Girl.

4. Be supportive — but don’t lie.

Unless you live in some magical world where you are dating a member of your favorite band since childhood, your manfriend will, inevitably, make some decisions (musical or otherwise) you do not enjoy in the least.  These is a fine line you walk here: if it is a musical issue, let the sleeping dogs lie.  If the manfriend decides to dress the band in all pink and wear pigs masks, feel free to call them an idiot.

…okay, so that wasn’t such a fine line, but still.

5. Do not get too involved with their band.

For six months, while my Manfriend’s band was vocalist-less, they had me write lyrics and melodies so they could continue producing material.  And trust me, there is no faster way to get your feelings hurt than to hear you will not be credited for the songs you wrote.  Even if they are being used.

While Manfriend’s thought process there might be some honest-to-god douchery, you should, in general, avoid giving material or ideas to your manfriend’s band.  You are not a member for a reason, and constantly being discounted will only frustrate the bejeezus out of you.

I am aware dating a musician is a constant game of give-and-take, but right now I’m fighting the urge to smack Manfriend with a bass amp (note to bass amp: I could not do that to you, Sasha) and call it a day.  We’ve been dating for a fifth of our lives and I still want to just say, “Shove it,” sometimes.  So I guess it boils down to something musicians themselves have been saying on the subject of dating one forever:

Don’t do it.  We warned you.